I FUCKING LOVE YOU
“The hell has gotten into him? Has Luyanda lost his damn mind?"
"Not sure, but the guy’s behavior is kinda weird now, let’s hear from him. Let’s give him a chance to spill the beans."
Hello there! Are you doing well? That’s great. Even if you’re not, it’s still great because you’re here with us on earth showing off your presence and existence as a human being. So today, I woke up with this conversation from readers asking one another about my sanity and staying consistent with writing, therefore I’m here to explain. The man is tired of hiding in the corner like a scared dog with its tail down.
A’ight, first and foremost, OMG! I’d like to ask for an apology from you guys. When was the last time I published something? March, right? Fuck me. Oh fuck me! See? See what kind of an unreliable asshole I am?
Since I have no one else to talk to about my private life?--wait, did I say my private life? Really? Yeah, whatever you name it. So, since I have no one I can sit down and talk to and explain my shit and all the shitstorms I’m facing that are jerking to hinder my loyalty in my work for my authentic readers, I’d explain what the hell is going on, okay.
What the hell is going on exactly? Oh, to be honest, I’ve been in some places I didn’t wanna be and I’ve met some part of me I didn’t quite like. I mean, I’ve been someone I don’t know. When I woke up, looked at myself in the mirror, I was terrified of the man I was seeing there. Like, really fucking terrified, do you get me?
Listen, it's fine if you don't relate or don't understand but as I said earlier on, I will spill the beans. This man I was seeing in the mirror developed some slothfulness somewhere in important areas of his mind. I was like, "Dude, what's going on with ya, why keep shrugging off from work?" But he ignored me.
On the other hand, I was busy writing a goddamn book. So I might say there’s a book coming up soon but I won’t tell you the title of it, you know, I don’t wanna spoil the surprise. As such, the book got me by the neck with a giant, rough hand against it. It chocked the hell out of me. It almost defeated the my soul. I became something I don’t understand. And I’m still that something I don’t understand and it’s fucking me up like thousands times a day with different thousands cocks mixed with unimaginable setbacks. To this day, I’m still operating under that similar treatment of being fucked up by these circumstances.
Fast forward, this terrifying guy who was staring at me in the mirror was always having trouble with me. I tried to convince him that I’m not interested in battling him but only in helping him get the work done. He didn’t listen. He was stubborn as a mule. He became defensive that I almost lost. Mind you, I was always in an emotional sort of war with this man on a daily basis for more than half a year--that’s more than 6 months in a row. Can you imagine that bullshit? Crap, right? Yeah, of course it is.
I told him to get off his head and do the work because the world is dying for something highly valuable and helpful from us. Instead, he infected my spirit with that same behavior. I struggled to get my butt up and make shit happen. Boom! I lost track of my own path forward. At that point, I’d already foreseen my destiny. But little did I know that I was merely being delusional. Fuck me again.
"But Luyanda, all these months you were quiet like a corpse and instead of coming up with some real shit like you used to, you now come up with phony excuses begging us to sympathize with you. We want something interesting, man" says one of my readers.
Come on guys, what am I? Jesus? An AI? I admit that I've been a shit and purple asshole for being quiet and inconsistent for so long, I take the blame and responsibility for it. I must suffer for it. I must be crucified on the cross for it. I must accept all the criticisms because, you know, sometimes, people are cunts and I sometimes view myself as a cunt and we are living under the system of Cuntism. I'm seeing Custism spreading everywhere.
But hey, I get that you're still unsatisfied with my explanation and all these goofy metaphors I'm using of one person seeing another different, terrifying person in a mirror and all that shit, but I'm trying, am I not? Well, to hell with all this. Maybe I'm starting to get insane again. Madness is taking the driver’s seat in my brain. Please send some help immediately. Here's my house address: 246...
Enough with bullshit, to be as clear as crystal, I don't know what the hell is going on. Yes, I really don't know what's going on with me. "But after all the paragraphs you've written..." Fuck yeah! After all the paragraphs I've written I still have no clue what has gotten into me. Is it my fault that I don't know? Should I be worried and contemplate quitting or just live life like everyone else?
But I’m sorry, that would not happen. I can’t just live like everyone else. Who’s "everyone else"? Who the hell is that?
What I was about to say is that I apologize for being an asshole. If I was right and happy with my decision, I wouldn’t ever in a million years apologize. But because I wasn’t right and wasn’t happy at all, I apologize for being inconsistent. I wish I had an open heart like you, guys. I love you. Seriously, I FUCKING LOVE ALL OF YOU!
See? The time right now is 23:01, and I’m busy writing this for you, dropping my dull sob stories, and begging for apologies from you like you’re my goddamn girlfriends. But that’s awesome to me that you still have my back, you’re more significant than my girlf...
May your hearts and spirits continue to live openly, not just exist like rocks and deserts. I love you with my my damn heart. I fuck with you. I fucking love you. Luyanda will continue to drop some interesting and vital knowledge as he used to back then, he promises you. His mental fuck-shit will wait for a moment.
