EVERY DAY YOU ARE SUFFERING.
This Is Why You Don’t or Rarely Realize That You Are Always Suffering. Every fucking second.
All of life is suffering! It has been like that and always will be. It’s funny because most of us think of suffering as something extremely painful which delivers noble outcomes ultimately. I call bullshit. Suffering doesn’t always indicate good results. Here’s how you are always suffering.
You wake up in the morning. You try to remember that dream you dreamt about last night that scared the hell out of you (or perhaps that excited you in a way that made you horny). But because you are not that curious about it, you simply forget about it and quickly pick your phone up without getting your butt out of your bed. You try to open your eyes wider three times consecutively. You lie on your bed with your back and yawn like a hungry dog.
Suddenly, without further ado, you find yourself automatically clicking on the notification buttons and scrolling on your social media platforms, and posting whatever bullshit you are thinking about during that dull morning of yours. At that moment, you reply to all your emails and text messages. You feel good because it makes you feel alive and important to others. While you’re still feeling important, you then begin to feel pressured, stagnant, or hopeless because of what you’re seeing on those platforms. Why? Well, it fumes an intense pressure on your heart because you’re seeing successful people who are way younger than you swimming in cash, living in big-ass houses, and driving fast model cars. You start questioning your purpose and existence on this habitable planet. You feel worthless.
But because you feel like shit, you now begin to numb that feeling by rolling a joint and blazing it painstakingly until your eyeballs turns red. Or you play your favorite music to feel spiritual and boost your confidence. Or, if you’re a dweeb, you watch a handful of motivational videos to feel less shitty. Or, if you’re a religious one, you kneel and beg your God to help you remove all the burdens on your fucking shoulders whatever the fuck it is. You feel relieved a bit. See? That feeling has been numbed by applying certain doses and hope has been regained. It’s time to proceed and do stuff.
By the same token, you get your butt out of the bedroom without even stretching your body. And what you do is open the refrigerator and see what you can eat. Without even reminding yourself to brush your fucking teeth, you take the last night’s leftovers of gordita or chimichanga together with a glass of Papaya juice or a can of red bull energy drink and, obviously, binge. You feel indifferent. You sit down on your couch and continue to browse on the internet. You begin to feel worried about your situation and things that haven’t happened yet.
This is what suffering looks like. There’s no other way of suffering that is waiting for you to experience it. This is life. And life without suffering is meaningless. Every day we are suffering, struggling, and sacrificing for the things that feel important and need immediate reaction and attention at that particular moment. For the fact that you woke up in the morning, scrolled on social media, took a shit, and fed yourself cold, hard slices of yesterday’s gordita, you’re already suffering, my friend. You are sacrificing something for something. All of us are suffering but not all of us realize that we are suffering. All of us are sacrificing something for something but not all of us are noticing that.
It feels good to know what we are sacrificing for. But it feels even better to know why we are sacrificing.
As you are aware that your time on this planet is very, very, very limited and in that shortness of your life, suffering isn’t going anywhere as long as there’s still pain. As such, it is crucial to know what you are suffering for because you cannot live without suffering but you can suffer without living. How is that even possible, Luyanda? Well, fuck it, I mean by existing. Mark Twain, the American writer, said, “Most men die at 27, we just bury them at 72.” I will not explain what did Twain mean by this. There’s a difference between living and existing. But, of course, I won’t waste my time lecturing you about the differences between these two terms. That is for another subject. Let’s save it for the next time.
I know that you’re hoping to suffer for the right reasons that make your life a bit meaningful from now on since you’ve noticed that you are suffering already. And you’ve been suffering for a long time since… Look, as I’m writing this right away at 2 am, I’m suffering, but for the reasons I think they’re right for me. And YOU, reader. You too as you are reading this are suffering as well because you are staying there on your ass consuming this knowledge and shaking your head and smiling and, sometimes, calling me an asshole. I’m enduring the pain that comes with writing. You’re enduring the pain that comes with reading. We are both suffering. No exception.
I know you are still asking yourself and you’re like, “Wait, Luyanda, hold up a second, how is scrolling on social media and pooping suffering? I don’t understand” Good question. I’m glad you asked. Well, pain always comes with suffering. It’s like butter in bread. Scrolling is suffering. It is painful for your eyes, therefore (not sure if proven. But who gives a fuck?) it affects your eyesight. Consuming too much content overloads your brain and affects your mood and thoughts leaving you thinking bullcrap. Your eyes and brain are suffering the pain of light emission and a shitton of information. The difference is that you’ve trained your ass to easily endure that pain.
Consequently, suffering isn’t going to cease to exist so does pain. What I find quite sombrous is that some people have no fucking clue what they are suffering for and why they are suffering for that thing/s. Some aren’t even aware that every second they are suffering. Yes! That’s right, baby, EVERY SECOND. I once bumped into a post on Quora and this post disturbed my calm I found this worth-sharing line while I was reading it. And it goes like this: Every day, your world shrinks as you lose mobility, continence, and sight. This is all part of the suffering of a human animal on earth. And there’s no way to utterly and completely escape it.
Alright, some of you will disagree with what I say here because you are a fucking huge Barstad bodybuilder or the world’s best yogi or gymholic who has never seen the face of the doctor or bought any medication. You may entitle yourself to all these names that you choose as you believe they suit your identity perfectly. But after all, you are just a human being, my friend, right? Okay, let’s proceed with where we left you bingeing on your couch eating goddamn leftovers.
You are now feeling that time runs faster than you process things in your mind. You look outside the window and you see the sun disappearing over the horizon. Boom! The end of the afternoon with dispatch emerges just like that. Yep, just like that. Everything seems to disintegrate as days pass by. You feel like you have no plans to escape these abysmal feelings. Boredom terrifies you and you’re also uncomfortable with staying in a completely silent space, therefore you continue to apply your defensive doses; browse and scroll.
Just like that, huh? The evening begins to hug and take over the afternoon. Your stomach tells you it’s time to prepare it for something to store before it turns right up against you because if you don’t, you already know the consequences. Hunger is shouting irresistibly. You get your butt out of the couch and cook while playing your favorite music because you can’t bear the boredom and silence of plain cooking without the presence of nicer distractions.
After cooking and consuming your meal, you watch a handful of television shows, the news, and of course, the next day’s weather (what the shit! Are you serious?). The day runs you. You feel tired as fuck. You take a hot shower and go to bed. You continue to browse and scroll on your device. You post about The Importance of Staying Indoors. You feel a little bit less shitty about your current situation. You watch a couple of funny, inspiring, and saddening videos on YouTube. You begin to listen to your sad playlist on your headphones. You, again, question your existence and why you’re never lucky like other most successful people in this world. In one fell swoop, you cry. You snort under the bedseets. And eventually, you sleep. The next day is waiting for your presence, NOT your availability so that it can either run you and suffer dolefully. Or you run it and suffer advantageously. The choice is yours. But regardless of how you choose to see your sufferings, unfortunately, YOU are responsible for everything that happens to you.
Luyanda wait! This article makes me wildly uncomfortable right now as I’m…reading through these lines. Umm, I feel guilty, you say (I too feel uncomfortable to tell you the truth). It’s okay, you’ll be fine. Take a fucking deep breath to calm the fuck down. Now, it is time to pause and think and ask yourself these 9 vital questions regarding your everyday sufferings on Mother Earth. Let’s see what are those questions this guy called Luyanda wants us to ask ourselves:
I. What am I suffering for?
II. Why am I spending my time suffering for this thing?
III. Is it something worth suffering for?
IV. If so, why am I not putting enough effort to suffer for it?
V. But if not, why am I not stopping myself from suffering for this shit?
VI. Am I suffering for the right reasons or the wrong ones?
VII. What am I willing to suffer for?
VIII. Why am I not suffering for that shit right now?
IX. What do I need to suffer it?
Realizing that every fucking day of your life you’re suffering and that you need to take proper care and full responsibility for your sufferings is way more consequential than attempting to shrug it off because it will not end well. Look, you can’t be dumb and naive for the rest of your…ahem (excuse me ladies and gentlemen), life, you know. This is not a Disney World. This is the Real World.
