A Letter To Bacteria One
Etymology. Borrowed from New Latin bacteria, plural of bactērium, from Ancient Greek βακτήριον (baktḗrion).
The biggest bacterias of them all. There’s an outbreak of these sickening bacterias everywhere. This kind of bacteria doesn’t only infect your body and blood, it also infect your last trusted shield which is your soul. And almost takes away your inner peace.
Looking back, I've seen a shitload of
these bacterias and they're spread all over the world. I, myself, Shandu, not innocent from infecting other people but I've tried by all means to find the right injection for my body, especially for my soul, and not infect other human species.
So, these bacterias attacks anyone
whom they find worthy of being infected because he may be the right refuge for them to settle in. I've been fighting these bacterias for almost 3 months. Every week. You gotta be someone who got some balls to eliminate them and it's not as easy as ABC to eliminate them. Why? You ask. Well, shit, because they're fucking all over the planet.
These kinds of bacterias are not needed
because they’re very dangerous to the
human race. They are found in areas like schools, universities, public libraries, churches, government institutions, cartels, banks, and parks. And their sentences sounds very intellectual. They like to use formal language in their speech with verbosely words to confuse people. Only to find out it’s complete nonsense.
Another thing I’ve noticed about these
bacterias: they NEVER curse. Ever! They follow the all laws of the state. They speaks of equal rights, communism, socialism, capitalism is evil, compound interest, stock market investment, mutual funds, municipal bonds, gender equality, saving 10% of income, live below your means, work smart not hard, overpopulation, climate change, getting good grades, having tons of higher qualifications, working for the state, rich people must be taxed, Russia is dangerous, birth control pills, TV is good for the kids, and schools are necessary.
These bacterias are the consumers of the information they’re fed by the media. They trust what is said by the news. They trust the medication they’re given by the doctors. They trust the knowledge they drilled by the state-certified teachers in classrooms. And the worst of all, they dedicate their lives to the state, Jesus!
Last one, they genuinely hope that the government will bring out outstanding change in their lives for them to live happily in that region. And most of them are university lecturers like my Political Science lecture named Nduduzo Zondi (whenever you see him, tell him to not forget to go to the fitting rooms before he buys his baggy jeans).
Again, the majority of these unneeded
bacterias usually wears expensive suits with neckties and often talks about God and the bible stuff. They have no artistic taste or unique style that set them apart from the masses. They don’t know the difference between TREND and LIFESTYLE. To their dull perception, it’s the same shit.
On social media platforms, they post
motivational videos, quotes, what they're doing, how they're feeling, what they're eating, whom they're been fucking, and other stuff that makes them think they're geniuses.
"There are no jobs at this time. The
unemployment rate has increased by 38% and the current government is so corrupt. We need change! The youth must be given a chance to participate in politics!" says bacterias. This is their forever mantra.
These bacterias often like to go around announcing to this beautiful land that they want to help people by posting on social media and telling us when they stop us on the streets. And then they brag about whom they’ve helped, with what, when, and whom have turned their backs on them when they’ve helped that person with this and that during difficult times.
This is a warning, brothers and
sisters, that you must make sure that you stay the fuck away as much as you can from these types of bacterias if you want peace in your life and soul. I’m talking from experience and I’m spreading this message to the world.
Perhaps you might find it helpful. Enjoy.
But be careful, friend.
University of KwaZulu-Natal Pietermaritzburg Campus
Marlhebe Residence
Block C
Room 354
15th October 2023
Dear Bacteria One,
So the other day, on early August during the midday, I was walking to campus and while I was passing the through the commerce building, I spotted 3 dudes. I stopped. Saluted them, remember? I saluted you and your dudes. The only dude I knew there was this dude named Scott who resides on campus at WOB residence. Do you still remember that day, huh?
I stopped by you and your crew. I
showed you a handful of bags of weed. You took one and asked for a taste. You wanted to taste it but I refused because I was selling it. Spha, you nuts, you took one bag and went straight to attend your class. I asked you for my money and you said you’d pay me later because you got no cash. I asked you where do you stay and you said, "Robly" and disappeared. I asked your friend Scott for assurance and he said the same thing. But I sensed that you were a lying asshole because Scott laughed.
After that, with a little bit of anger in my
chest, I walked away to where I was heading. But I was angry, I don’t wanna lie.
Late afternoon, on 6pm, on that same
day, I went to check that block called Robly that you said you live in but, unfortunately, I didn't find it. I asked some other people about where the fuck exactly is Robly. They told me where it is.
After that day, in the morning around
9am, listen, I went straight to that block on the third floor. I knocked on the door for like four times, a brown-skinned girl with pimples slowly opened that door, didn't she tell you, Spha? Was she your bitch? Oh, yeh, they told me that she's your girlfriend.
I told your bitch that I was looking for a
guy (bacteria) named Spha. She said you weren’t there and you’re not staying there and added in her sentence some other things I had forgotten a long time ago. I then apologized to her for waking her up and went back to where I stay. I walked up back to Denison, I walked walked walked.
I was still angry. Why were you lying?
Why are you a lying asshole, Spha?
Listen, folks like us hates being lied to,
OK?
During that same week, I was looking for
a bacteria named Spha. I was looking for your ass and asked people because I couldn't stand being fooled by a bald-headed nut.
One of my buddies who reside where
you reside and who also helped me find your ass once told me, "Hehehe, Spha is very clever."
He showed me your door by pointing it
from a fairly distance. I saw the door. The door had a room number in it. I looked at it and it displayed a room number in it: 354. I knocked. Two times, you still remember? You opened the door and your door had a chainlock in it. I saw your fat head with a bald. How come you have a bald at a very young age, huh?
I knew you were with a girl. But you knew
that you owed me. You came out and said let's talk about it. I followed your ass to the balcony. Again, you lied. I didn't say much because I was full of rage.
"Look, eish! Um, please gimme some
time to get your money. I'll see you probably on the 15th of August because it's a payday" you said.
I kept quiet. I stared at your fat eyes in
your fat bald-head and went down the stairway to the ground floor. Walked through the passageway. Took right. Passed the turnstile. And head back to where I stay: Denison.
On the 15th of August, late afternoon
around 7pm, I came back to your ass again. I came to your room. I saw the door. The door had a room number in it: 354. I knocked for a couple of seconds. No one opened. You weren’t there. I guess you were out busy infecting other people’s souls with your bacterial devilish venom.
Five days after the last time I came back
again, on the 20th of August around 8pm, I came to collect my money for the last time. I knocked twice on your door that had number 354 in it. You opened it. You looked like a grumpy dick with a bald. I asked you for my money and, again, you moaned. You lied, I know fo sho. You then opened a drawer and showed me a transparent plastic bag full of bags of weed. I preferred to take one bag than to wait for that money because I was extremely tired of your horrible lies. I took one bag. And left.
I guess my friend was right when he said
you were a clever person (bacteria). Why was it so difficult for you to give me back my money? It was just 20 rands. 20 rands!!
I regret for trying to fight this bacteria
that you are because I didn’t win. I can’t seem to understand why and how other people hang around with such bacterias like you. Aren’t they sacred of your deadly infection? On my side, I fear this type of bacterial infection more than a world war. More than the government and the media. More than my ex-girlfriend called Caramelia with a small cunt. More than a lethal disease. And more than being tossed to a drum full of acid.
Perhaps those folks are used to it and
see nothing wrong with the existence of the walking and talking bacterias.
So to state my three wishes fast before I
get ill:
- 1. I WISH I was able to quickly detect the moves of the bacteria when it’s about to infect me.
2. I WISH I didn’t even begin to trade with such bacterias because everything they touches simply decomposes like a stinking dead whale in the seashores.
3. I WISH God or Mother Nature will wipe out these bacterias with immediate effect so that folks like us will continue live in peace and remain uninfected.
Wait, did I get my money back?
Hell NAW!
Yours targeted,
The Infected Soul.
